Mermaid or Whale?

Pam

Pamela A. Sherman



Mermaid or Whale?
Recently, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman
appeared in the window of a nationally marketed gym. It
said, "This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?"

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics
did not match those of the woman on the poster,
responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.



To Whom It May Concern,

Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea
lions, curious humans.) They have an active sex life, get
pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a
wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with
shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful
places like Patagonia, the Bering Sea, and the coral reefs
of Polynesia. Whales are wonderful singers and even have
recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually
have no predators other than humans. They are loved,
protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don't exist.
If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices
of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish
or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men
who get close to them, not to mention how could they have
sex? Just look at them ... where is, well, 'IT?' Therefore,
they don't have kids either. Not to mention, who wants to
get close to a girl who smells like a fish processing factory?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

P.S. We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea
that only skinny people are beautiful, but I prefer to enjoy an
ice cream with my kids, a good dinner with a man who makes
me shiver, and a piece of chocolate with my friends. With time,
we gain weight because we accumulate so much information
and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it
distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy,
we are enormously cultured, educated and happy! Beginning
today, when I look at my back side in the mirror I will think,
"Good grief, look how smart I am!"

Debra


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*Contributed by my dear aunt RiverEyes