Because you maybe a little twisted

____________________________________________

*contributed by a corny email that was sent to me from my

mom's brother, and the pictures do not reflect on my personal

values. I only thought they should be shown to the public on

how twisted people are! Enjoy wondering what was going

through their heads at that time! It's a pure mystery to me.

As I Mature


I've learned that you cannot make someone
love you. All you can do is stalk them and
hope they panic and give in.


I've learned that no matter how much I care,
some people are just assholes.


I've learned that it takes years to build up
trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof,
to destroy it.


I've learned that you can get by on charm
for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd
better have a big willy or huge boobs.


I've learned that you shouldn't compare
yourself to others-they are more screwed
up than you think.


I've learned that you can keep vomiting
long after you think you're finished.


I've learned that we are responsible for
what we do, unless we are celebraties.


I've learned that regardless of how hot and
steamy a relationship is at first, the passion
fades, and there had better be a lot of money
to take its place!


I've learned that 99% of the time when
something isn't working in your house,
one of your kids did it.


I've learned that the people you care most
about in lifeare taken from you too soon and
all the less important ones just never go away.


Pass this along to 5 friends - trust me, they'll
appreciate it. Who knows, maybe something
good will happen.


If not, tough shit.
_____________________

*contributed by an email from anonymous emailer

Mexican Lion

This is the true story of a Garage Owner in the

Southwest. (New Mexico)

He was sick and tired of thugs breaking into his garage shop

to steal tools, etc. So he came up with this idea. He put the

word out that he had a new Mexican Lion that would attack

anyone that would break in or climb his fence. Would-be

thieves saw the "Lion" from a distance and fled the scene.

I'll give you 5 minutes to stop laughing!

--

Building World-Wide Communities -- Together!

http://teaching-hands.blogspot.com/

Subject: Sunset at the North Pole

This is the sunset at the North Pole with the moon
at its closest point last week.



















A scene you will probably never get to see in person, so
take a moment and enjoy God at work at the North Pole.

And, you also see the sun below the moon.

An amazing photo and not one easily duplicated.
You may want to pass it on to others so they an enjoy it.

The Chinese have a saying that goes something like this:

'When someone shares with you something of value,
you have an obligation to share it with others!'

I just did. Your turn.-

--
* contributed by an email sent to me from my amazing aunt RiverEyes!

--
Windows Live™ Photos: it's easy to store and manage your photos online. See how.

Friends forever ... The orangutan was in a rescue mission,
depressed and not doing well. This old hound wandered in
and the orangutan snapped to -- as if his buddy had arrived.
He stayed with the hound night and day until he was well.
In the whole scenario, the orangutan found a reason to live.
They are now inseparable.

Where you lead, I will follow. Best friends -- Suryia the
orangutan and Roscoe the Blue Tick hound.




























Doggy paddle is the order of the day here for the couple who
live at the Tigers sanctuary in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.



















Suryia and Roscoe spend hours together every day -
they're particularly fond of swimming.




















The two mates see the funny side of most things.




















There's always time to chill.

For once, Roscoe's letting it all hang out.

The three-year-old orangutan goes everywhere with Roscoe.

A dog's not just a man's best friend, he's an orangutan's too.

--

Building World-Wide Communities -- Together!

http://teaching-hands.blogspot.com/

Two of the greatest qualities in life are:

Patience and Wisdom...





























--
Building World-Wide Communities -- Together!
http://teaching-hands.blogspot.com/

Terrorist-Proof Airlines

WELCOME TO TPA(Terrorist-Proof Airlines)

We at TPA, Terrorist-Proof Airlines, are in the flying

business!

We can absolutely guarantee no WALK-ON GUNS, KNIVES,

BOX CUTTERS, SHOE-BOMBS or other weapons will ever
be carried onto OUR FLIGHTS!

Book your next flight with TPA, the safest airline in the industry..

AND, If a Muslim sees a naked woman he is obliged to

commit suicide - so please forward !

Subject: A true friend will read this and
send it back, a fake one will delete it.


None of that 'Sis'-sy Stuff

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship'
poems that always sound good, but
never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that
actually speak of True Friendship.


You WON'T see cutesy little
smiley faceson this card-
Just the stone cold truth of
our great friendship.


1. When you are sad,
I will jump on the
person who made
you sad like a spider
monkey jacked up
on Mountain Dew!!!

2. When you are blue,
I will try to dislodge
whatever is choking
you.

3. When you smile, I
will know you are
plotting something
that I must be
involved in.

4. When you're scared,
we will high tail it
out of here.

5. When you are worried,
I will tell you horrible
stories about how much
worse it could be until
you quit whining, ya big
baby!!!!

6. When you are confused,
I will use little words.

7. When you are sick,
Stay away from me
until you are well
again. I don't want
whatever you have....

8. When you fall I'll
pick you up and
dust you off --
After I laugh my
rear off!!

9. This is my oath... I
pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
--because you are my
FRIEND!
***********************

Friendship is like peeing
your pants, everyone can
see it, but only YOU can
feel the true warmth.

**********************

Try sending this to 10
of your closest friends,
including the person who
sent this to you ....Then,
get depressed 'cause you
can only think of 4!

Feng Shui

Loved ones do not make our lives but loving them does.
--LaVern Crews-Earles

This is without a doubt one of the nicest good luck forwards
I have received. Hope it works for you -- and me!

Lotus Touts: You have 6 minutes

There's some mighty fine advice in these words, even if you
are not superstitious. This Lotus Touts has been sent to you
for good luck from the Anthony Robbins organization. It has
been sent around the world ten times so far.

Do not keep this message.

The Lotus Touts must leave your hands in 6 MINUTES.
Otherwise you will get a very unpleasant surprise. This is
true, even if you are not superstitious

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get
older, their conversational skills will be as important as any
other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or
sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't
have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt
but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! .. When someone asks you a question you
don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to
know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great
achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self;
Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great
friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake,
take immediate steps to correct it.


TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller
will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.


A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and
touches your heart.

Do not keep this message.


____________

* contributed through email that I had received from my
amazing aunt RiverEyes!

Just in Case

GOOD LUCK …

You have just been sent a Financial Abundance angel!
Pass her to two people, and be rich in four days.
Pass her to six then be rich in two days.
You are already rich! I am not joking,
you will find an un-expected windfall.
She really does work like magic!
NO Pass Backs. Pass it on.

The Purpose of a Dog

Be sure to scroll all the way down & read the story

and thoughts at the end. They are the best part of

this email. Children are very wise!

A Dog's Purpose? (from a 6-year-old).


Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-
year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners,
Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very
attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.



I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told
the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered
to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their
home.



As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they
thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe
the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn
something from the experience.



The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as
Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm,
petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if
he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes,
Belker slipped peacefully away.



The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without
any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after
Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that
animal lives are shorter than human lives.



Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth
next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting
explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.



He said,''People are born so that they can learn how to live
a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being
nice, right?''
The Six-year-old continued,''Well, dogs already know how
to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''



Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.



Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things
like:

• When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
• Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.
• Take naps..Stretch before rising.
• Run, romp, and play daily.
• Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
• On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
• On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
• When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
• Be loyal.
• Never pretend to be something you're not.
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!'




Animals come into our lives as gifts from God, for
companionship, to teach us, and to heal us. They
deserve our very best efforts in caring for them'

...Dr. Ihor Basko, DVM.

____________________

*contributed by an email sent to me from a friend at
Teaching Hands: Cindy Rosen. Thanks Cindy!