Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven

>>Forrest Gump Goes to Heaven
>>>
>>> The day finally arrives: Forrest Gump dies and goes
>>> to heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter
>>> himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest
>>> approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter says, "Well,
>>> Forrest, it's certainly good to see you. We have heard
>>> a lot about you. I must inform you that the place is
>>> filling up fast, and we've been administrating an
>>> entrance examination for everyone. The tests are fairly
>>> short, but you need to pass before you can get into Heaven.
>>>
>>> Forrest responds "It shore is good to be here St. Peter.
>>> I was looking forward to this. Nobody told me about any
>>> entrance exam. Sure hope the test ain't too hard; life was
>>> a big enough test as it was." St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know
>>> Forrest but the test I have for you is only three questions.
>>> Here is the first: What days of the week begin with the
>>> letter "T"?
>>> Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
>>> Third: What is God's first name?"
>>>
>>> Forrest goes away to think the questions over. He returns
>>> the next day and goes up to St. Peter to try to answer the
>>> exam questions. St. Peter waves him up and say, "Now
>>> that you have had a chance to think the questions over,
>>> tell me your answers." Forrest says, "Well, the first one
>>> 'how many days of the week begin with the letter "T"?
>>> Shucks, that one's easy. That'd be Today and Tomorrow.
>>> The Saint's eyes open wide and exclaims, "Forrest! That's
>>> not what I was thinking, but.....you dohave a point though,
>>> and I guess that I didn't specify, so I give you credit for
>>> that for that answer. How about the next one ?" asks St.
>>> Peter. "How many seconds in a year?" "Now that one's
>>> harder," says Forrest, "But I thunk and thunk about that
>>> and I guess the only answer can be twelve."
>>>
>>> Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve! Twelve! Forrest,
>>> how in Heaven's name could you have come up with twelve
>>> seconds in a year?" Forrest says, "Shucks, there gotta be
>>> twelve: January second, February second, March second....."
>>> "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you're going
>>> with this. And I guess I see your point, though that wasn't
>>> quite what I had in mind, but I'll give you credit for that
>>> one, too. Let's go on with the next and final question.
>>>
>>> Can you tell me God's first name?" Forrest replied, "Andy."
>>> "OK, OK," said a frustrated St. Peter, "I guess I can
>>> understand how you came up with your answers to my
>>> first two questions, but just how in the world did you come
>>> up with the name Andy as the first name of God?" "That
>>> was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learned it
>>> from the song......................
>>> "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME,
>>> ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN..."
>>>


*Thanks to shirley for contributing another brilliant satire story. ^_^