Many years ago, a middle aged woman was going
to take a car trip to visit family in another state.
Her family was against this because it was a long
ways to and she'd be alone. They were afraid for
her safety. But the old lady would not be deterred.
She went to the local department store and asked
if she could rent or borrow a male mannequin
(clothed, of course). Since their's was a small town
and the store management knew her, the answer
was "yes".
So, off she went with the mannequin in the
passenger seat. Her family was satisfied.
After she had gone a few miles, the mannequin fell
over. She righted it and went a ways farther and it
fell over again. This happened time and time again.
Finally, she got disgusted and threw it in the trunk.
Later, she stopped for gas, the sttendant asked if
she'd like to have the spare tire checked for pressure
since he had checked all the other tires.
She said, "Sure."
After she had gassed up, she drove on. About three
blocks down the street a cop pulled her over, asked
her to get out of the car and give him her keys. She
didn't know why, but she did as told. After the cop
looked in the trunk he hand-cuffed her and took her
off to the police station.
Finally, they told her that it had been reported that
she had a dead, dismembered body in her trunk.
*Contribution by my dear friend Shirley.
Friday, September 4, 2009
You are a Keeper
One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold
morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was
struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't
"anymore".... No more hugs, no more special moments to
celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no
more "just one minute."
Sometimes, what we careabout the most gets all used
up and goes away, never to returnbefore we can say,
"Good-bye", or say, "I love you."
So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when
it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage
.....and old cars... andchildren with bad report cards, and dogs
with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep
them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away
or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things
that make us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special.
And so, we keep them close! I received this from someone
who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I sent it to the people
I think of in the same way...
Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are
"keepers" in your life, including the person who sent it, if
you feel that way.
Suppose one morning you never wake up -- do all your
friends know you love them? I was thinking...I could die
today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had
any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed
rekindling or three words needing to be said. Let every
one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think
they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what
those three little words and a smile can do. And just in
case I'm gone tomorrow.
I love ya!!!
Live today because tomorrow is not promised.
morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was
struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't
"anymore".... No more hugs, no more special moments to
celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no
more "just one minute."
Sometimes, what we careabout the most gets all used
up and goes away, never to returnbefore we can say,
"Good-bye", or say, "I love you."
So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when
it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage
.....and old cars... andchildren with bad report cards, and dogs
with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep
them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away
or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things
that make us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special.
And so, we keep them close! I received this from someone
who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I sent it to the people
I think of in the same way...
Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are
"keepers" in your life, including the person who sent it, if
you feel that way.
Suppose one morning you never wake up -- do all your
friends know you love them? I was thinking...I could die
today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had
any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed
rekindling or three words needing to be said. Let every
one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think
they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what
those three little words and a smile can do. And just in
case I'm gone tomorrow.
I love ya!!!
Live today because tomorrow is not promised.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
A poem from the Ann landers column- On This Day
On This Day
>>Mend a quarrel.
>>Search out a forgotten friend.
>>Dismiss a suspicion and replace it with a trust.
>>Write a letter to someone who has lost faith.
>>Keep a promise.
>>Forget an old grudge.
>>Examine your demands on others and vow to reduce them.
>>Fight for a principle.
>>Overcome an old fear.
>>Take two minutes to appreciate the beauty of nature.
>>Tell someone you love them.
>>Tell them again,
>>And again,
>>And again.
>>
>>
>>The lady who sent this poem to Ann Landers said her
>>Mother pinned it up where she could read it every day.
>>Said it expressed her Mother's attitude about life.
>>
>>She suggested that if each of us would take a few
>>moments to read these words and put them into
>>practice, the world would be a better place.
*Contributed by my dear friend Shirley
>>Mend a quarrel.
>>Search out a forgotten friend.
>>Dismiss a suspicion and replace it with a trust.
>>Write a letter to someone who has lost faith.
>>Keep a promise.
>>Forget an old grudge.
>>Examine your demands on others and vow to reduce them.
>>Fight for a principle.
>>Overcome an old fear.
>>Take two minutes to appreciate the beauty of nature.
>>Tell someone you love them.
>>Tell them again,
>>And again,
>>And again.
>>
>>
>>The lady who sent this poem to Ann Landers said her
>>Mother pinned it up where she could read it every day.
>>Said it expressed her Mother's attitude about life.
>>
>>She suggested that if each of us would take a few
>>moments to read these words and put them into
>>practice, the world would be a better place.
*Contributed by my dear friend Shirley
A couple oddball sayings
- There's a new law firm in town: Dewey, Cheatem, & Howe
Hickory, Dickory Dock
The mouse went up the clock
The clock struck twelve
And the mouse went out for lunch.
Fashion Conflict- PG-13
The teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with
this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has
a fit, telling her not to go out like that.
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern
times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.
The next day, the the teenager comes downstairs, and the
grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager
wants to die. She explains to granddaughter that she has
friends coming over and that is just not appropriate.
"Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds,
then I can display my hanging baskets."
this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just has
a fit, telling her not to go out like that.
The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern
times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.
The next day, the the teenager comes downstairs, and the
grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager
wants to die. She explains to granddaughter that she has
friends coming over and that is just not appropriate.
"Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds,
then I can display my hanging baskets."
A Minute
A Minute
A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up
at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to
talk with God.
"God," he said, "how long is a million years?"
God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God answered, "To me, it's a penny."
The man then asked, " God, can I have a penny?"
God answered, "In a minute."
A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up
at the clouds. He was identifying shapes when he decided to
talk with God.
"God," he said, "how long is a million years?"
God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God answered, "To me, it's a penny."
The man then asked, " God, can I have a penny?"
God answered, "In a minute."
Moped
Moped
A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a Cougar XR7.
It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000.
He takes it out for a spin and stops for a red light. An old man on a Moped
(about 75 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the
sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young man replies, "A Cougar XR7. It cost a half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles per hour!" states the young dude
proudly.
The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I can take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the
window and looks around. Then sitting back on his Moped, the old man
says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right...but I'll stick with my Moped!"
Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the old man just
what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer
reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It
seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and
suddenly, whhhoooossshhh!
Something whips by him, going much faster!!!! "What on Earth could be
faster than my Couger?!" the young man asks himself. He floors the
accelerator and takes the Cougar up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him,
he sees that's the old man on the Moped. Amazed that the Moped could
pass his Cougar he gives it some more gas and passes the Moped at 275
mph. Whoooooosh!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man
gaining on him again. Astounded by the speed of this old guy he floors the
gas pedal and takes the Cougar all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds
later he sees the Moped bearing down on him again. The Cougar is flat out
and there's nothing he can do. Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of
his Cougar, demolishing the rear.
The young man jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still alive!!! He
runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my God! Is there anything
I can do for you?"
The old man whispers with his dying breath, "Unhook...my suspenders
from your side-view mirror.
*Contributed by my dear friend Shirley
A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a Cougar XR7.
It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $500,000.
He takes it out for a spin and stops for a red light. An old man on a Moped
(about 75 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the
sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young man replies, "A Cougar XR7. It cost a half a million dollars!"
"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles per hour!" states the young dude
proudly.
The Moped driver asks, "Mind if I can take a look inside?"
"No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the
window and looks around. Then sitting back on his Moped, the old man
says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right...but I'll stick with my Moped!"
Just then the light changes so the guy decides to show the old man just
what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer
reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It
seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be and
suddenly, whhhoooossshhh!
Something whips by him, going much faster!!!! "What on Earth could be
faster than my Couger?!" the young man asks himself. He floors the
accelerator and takes the Cougar up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him,
he sees that's the old man on the Moped. Amazed that the Moped could
pass his Cougar he gives it some more gas and passes the Moped at 275
mph. Whoooooosh!
He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man
gaining on him again. Astounded by the speed of this old guy he floors the
gas pedal and takes the Cougar all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds
later he sees the Moped bearing down on him again. The Cougar is flat out
and there's nothing he can do. Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of
his Cougar, demolishing the rear.
The young man jumps out, and unbelievably, the old man is still alive!!! He
runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh my God! Is there anything
I can do for you?"
The old man whispers with his dying breath, "Unhook...my suspenders
from your side-view mirror.
*Contributed by my dear friend Shirley
True Story
True Story
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to
her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding
to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know
how to use it use it! Get out of the car, you scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation, but got out and
ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded
to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the
driver's seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried and then it dawned her why.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five
spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove
to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story
nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other
side of the end of the counter, where four pale white males were
reporting a carjacking by a mad elderly woman described as white,
less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
Ah, senior moments!
*Contributed by my dear friend Shirley
An elderly Florida lady did her shopping, and upon returning to
her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding
to scream at them at the top of her voice, "I have a gun and I know
how to use it use it! Get out of the car, you scumbags!"
The four men didn't wait for a second invitation, but got out and
ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded
to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the
driver's seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.
She tried and tried and then it dawned her why.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five
spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into her car and drove
to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story
nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other
side of the end of the counter, where four pale white males were
reporting a carjacking by a mad elderly woman described as white,
less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.
No charges were filed.
Ah, senior moments!
*Contributed by my dear friend Shirley
The Water
The Water
>> It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We
>> had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were
>> dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and
>> streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a
>> dry season that would bankrupt several farmers
>> before it was through. Everyday, my husband and
>> his brothers would go about the arduous process of
>> trying to get water to the fields.
>>
>> Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the
>> local water rendering plant and filling up with water.
>> But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn't
>> see any rain soon...we would lose everything. It was
>> on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing
>> and witnessed the only miracle I have ever seen with
>> my own eyes.
>>
>> I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and
>> his brothers when I saw my six-year-old son, Billy,
>> walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the
>> usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a great
>> effort...trying to be as still as possible.
>>
>> Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came
>> running out again, toward the house. I went back to
>> making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had
>> been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he
>> was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride
>> toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour,
>> walk carefully to the woods, run back to the house.
>>
>> Finally I couldn't take any it any longer and I crept out
>> of the house and followed him on his journey (being
>> very careful not to be seen..as he was obviously doing
>> important work and didn't need his Mommy checking
>> up on him).
>>
>> He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked;
>> being very careful not to spill the water he held in them...
>> maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny
>> hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods.
>> Branches and thorns slapped his little face but he did
>> not try to avoid them. He had a much bigger purpose.
>>
>> As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing
>> site.Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy
>> walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him
>> to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was
>> dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...
>> he didn't even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a
>> tiny fawn laying on the ground, obviously suffering
>> from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head
>> with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my
>> beautiful boy's hand.
>>
>> When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back
>> to the house and I hid behind a tree. I followed him
>> back to the house; to a spigot that we had shut off the
>> water to. Billy opened it all the way up and a small
>> trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the
>> drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup", as the sun beat
>> down on his little back.
>>
>> And when it came clear to me. The trouble he had gotten
>> into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture
>> he had received about importance of not wasting water. The
>> reason he didn't ask me to help him. It took almost twenty
>> minutes for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and
>> began the trek back, I was there in front of him.
>>
>> His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting,"
>> was all he said. As he began his walk, I joined him...
>> with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him
>> tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job. I stood
>> on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful
>> heart I have ever known working so hard to save
>> another life.
>>
>> As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground,
>> they were suddenly joined by other drops...and more drops...
>> and more. I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was
>> weeping with pride. Some will probably say that was all just a
>> huge coincidence. That miracles don't really exist. That it was
>> bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that...I'm not
>> to try.
>>
>> All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our
>> farm...just like that actions of one little boy saved another.
>> This is not one of those crazy chain letters...if you don't
>> forward it to anyone, nothing bad will happen to you. If
>> you choose to forward it, you won't receive any riches in
>> the mail.
>>
>> I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it out.
>> To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken
>> from me much too soon... But not before showing me the True
>> face of God, in a little sunburned body.
>>
>> If this touched you, pass it on.
>>
>> Author Unknown
>>
*Contribution from my dear friend Shirley
>> It was one of the hottest days of the dry season. We
>> had not seen rain in almost a month. The crops were
>> dying. Cows had stopped giving milk. The creeks and
>> streams were long gone back into the earth. It was a
>> dry season that would bankrupt several farmers
>> before it was through. Everyday, my husband and
>> his brothers would go about the arduous process of
>> trying to get water to the fields.
>>
>> Lately this process had involved taking a truck to the
>> local water rendering plant and filling up with water.
>> But severe rationing had cut everyone off. If we didn't
>> see any rain soon...we would lose everything. It was
>> on this day that I learned the true lesson of sharing
>> and witnessed the only miracle I have ever seen with
>> my own eyes.
>>
>> I was in the kitchen making lunch for my husband and
>> his brothers when I saw my six-year-old son, Billy,
>> walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the
>> usual carefree abandon of a youth but with a great
>> effort...trying to be as still as possible.
>>
>> Minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came
>> running out again, toward the house. I went back to
>> making sandwiches; thinking that whatever task he had
>> been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he
>> was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride
>> toward the woods. This activity went on for an hour,
>> walk carefully to the woods, run back to the house.
>>
>> Finally I couldn't take any it any longer and I crept out
>> of the house and followed him on his journey (being
>> very careful not to be seen..as he was obviously doing
>> important work and didn't need his Mommy checking
>> up on him).
>>
>> He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked;
>> being very careful not to spill the water he held in them...
>> maybe two or three tablespoons were held in his tiny
>> hands. I sneaked close as he went into the woods.
>> Branches and thorns slapped his little face but he did
>> not try to avoid them. He had a much bigger purpose.
>>
>> As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing
>> site.Several large deer loomed in front of him. Billy
>> walked right up to them. I almost screamed for him
>> to get away. A huge buck with elaborate antlers was
>> dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...
>> he didn't even move as Billy knelt down. And I saw a
>> tiny fawn laying on the ground, obviously suffering
>> from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head
>> with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my
>> beautiful boy's hand.
>>
>> When the water was gone, Billy jumped up to run back
>> to the house and I hid behind a tree. I followed him
>> back to the house; to a spigot that we had shut off the
>> water to. Billy opened it all the way up and a small
>> trickle began to creep out. He knelt there, letting the
>> drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup", as the sun beat
>> down on his little back.
>>
>> And when it came clear to me. The trouble he had gotten
>> into for playing with the hose the week before. The lecture
>> he had received about importance of not wasting water. The
>> reason he didn't ask me to help him. It took almost twenty
>> minutes for the drops to fill his hands. When he stood up and
>> began the trek back, I was there in front of him.
>>
>> His little eyes just filled with tears. "I'm not wasting,"
>> was all he said. As he began his walk, I joined him...
>> with a small pot of water from the kitchen. I let him
>> tend to the fawn. I stayed away. It was his job. I stood
>> on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful
>> heart I have ever known working so hard to save
>> another life.
>>
>> As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground,
>> they were suddenly joined by other drops...and more drops...
>> and more. I looked up at the sky. It was as if God, himself, was
>> weeping with pride. Some will probably say that was all just a
>> huge coincidence. That miracles don't really exist. That it was
>> bound to rain sometime. And I can't argue with that...I'm not
>> to try.
>>
>> All I can say is that the rain that came that day saved our
>> farm...just like that actions of one little boy saved another.
>> This is not one of those crazy chain letters...if you don't
>> forward it to anyone, nothing bad will happen to you. If
>> you choose to forward it, you won't receive any riches in
>> the mail.
>>
>> I don't know if anyone will read this...but I had to send it out.
>> To honor the memory of my beautiful Billy, who was taken
>> from me much too soon... But not before showing me the True
>> face of God, in a little sunburned body.
>>
>> If this touched you, pass it on.
>>
>> Author Unknown
>>
*Contribution from my dear friend Shirley
What Kids Know About the Ocean
What Kids Know About the Ocean
Leave it to kids to share their writing skills & thought process.
1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles... (Kelly, age 6)
2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island.... If you don't have ocean
all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne, age 7)
Leave it to kids to share their writing skills & thought process.
1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles... (Kelly, age 6)
2) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island.... If you don't have ocean
all round you, you are incontinent. (Wayne, age 7)
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
5) - A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men, a woman and some pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)
9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write.
(Amy, age 6)
10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers at night. (Christopher, age 7)
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small.
(Kevin, age 6)
12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know.
(Bobby, age 6)
15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)
Love ya!
Love ya!
One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear,cold morning,
in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain
of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore".... No more hugs,
no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone
calls just to chat, no more "just one minute."
Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes
away, never to return before we can say, "Good-bye", or say, "I love you."
So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken
and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage.....and old cars... and
children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents
and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we
are worth it.
Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a
sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make
us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special..
And so, we keep them close!
I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I
sent it to the people I think of in the same way...
Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are "keepers"
in your life, including the person who sent it, if you feel that way.
Suppose one morning you never wake up -- do all your friends know
you love them?
I was thinking...I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I
wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships
that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.
Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think
they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what those three
little words and a smile can do.
And just in case I'm gone tomorrow.
I LOVE YA!!!
Live today because tomorrow is not promised..
One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear,cold morning,
in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain
of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore".... No more hugs,
no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone
calls just to chat, no more "just one minute."
Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes
away, never to return before we can say, "Good-bye", or say, "I love you."
So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken
and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage.....and old cars... and
children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents
and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we
are worth it.
Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a
sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make
us happy, no matter what.
Life is important, like people we know who are special..
And so, we keep them close!
I received this from someone who thought I was a 'keeper'! Then I
sent it to the people I think of in the same way...
Now it's your turn to send this to all those people who are "keepers"
in your life, including the person who sent it, if you feel that way.
Suppose one morning you never wake up -- do all your friends know
you love them?
I was thinking...I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I
wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships
that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.
Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think
they don't love you back, you would be amazed at what those three
little words and a smile can do.
And just in case I'm gone tomorrow.
I LOVE YA!!!
Live today because tomorrow is not promised..
DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
DIFFERENT WAYS AT LOOKING AT THINGS
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
---------------------------------------------------------
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
---------------------------------------------------------
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
-----------------------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
-----------------------------------
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
-----------------------------------
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ' Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies 'Just a minute..' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
-----------------------------------
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez...
'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'
-----------------------------------
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe : 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell..'
-----------------------------------
A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse. 'Oops!'
-----------------------------------
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked.. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care.
-----------------------------------
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
---------------------------------------------------------
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'
---------------------------------------------------------
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
-----------------------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
-----------------------------------
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
-----------------------------------
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, ' Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?' The agent replies 'Just a minute..' 'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up.
-----------------------------------
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez...
'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'
-----------------------------------
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe : 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell..'
-----------------------------------
A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. 'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse. 'Oops!'
-----------------------------------
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice. 'What do you think?' I asked.. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?' 'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.' He's still in intensive care.
-----------------------------------
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance. The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'
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