"Secrets for a Happy Marriage" - Rated PG

* Here I present another wonderful contribution from my dear friend Shirley whom I dearly love. ^_^ Thank you for the advise.

"Secrets for a Happy Marriage" -Rated PG

My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last.

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, we have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in New York.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been for a long time!" So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then, she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, she told me, "In the lake."
8. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but boy can she climb a tree now!
9. She got a mudpack and looked great for two whole days. Then the mud fell off.
10. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

--Unknown Author